The Bonsai Movie Crew
Join Me ( Joseph ) along with my daughter (Madison) and my 2 companions, Karen and her little brother (Eric) as we fill your ear holes with movie news and give you our opinion on a movie along with trivia about said film. Are we professional critics? NO! Not at all... but we have opinions to. https://www.facebook.com/TheBonsaiMovieCrew/ https://twitter.com/bonsai_crew https://www.youtube.com/@thebonsaimoviecrew1850
The Bonsai Movie Crew
Pod 183 - Road House (1989)
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This week we talk about Road House from 1989! Our creator profile this week is Patrick Swayze!
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Yeah, you you scratched it. Oh, don't let her peg ya.
SPEAKER_04That's gross, man. That is gross. I mean, not trying to like get down on anybody that's into it. Sorry. That's what you're into.
SPEAKER_03I'll get down on somebody who's into it. That's fucking disgusting. Find something, like, be into something else, you weirdo. Judgy McJudgerson over there. Anybody comes near my butthole with anything, we're fighting.
SPEAKER_04I thought you were into gay gay chicken. Huh? I thought you were into gay chicken.
SPEAKER_03That's nothing going in my butt. That you know that. That's the ultimate, that's the ultimate chicken right there. Gay chicken stops whenever something comes in my butt.
SPEAKER_04Oh wait, you let it go that far. Okay, slow.
SPEAKER_03Just no coming. No coming. You did what? I'm pregnant. I need a plan D pill.
SPEAKER_02It's a butt baby. It's a butt baby.
SPEAKER_04That's terrible. Terrible. Terrible.
SPEAKER_03Terrible. Oh boy. That's not working. Socials. We're gonna tell you that now. So we might as well just tell you now. This is gonna be our last episode for a little while. Um we got things going on, baseball practice, work. And I need to redo this basement.
SPEAKER_04So I say we just go back there to the to the original. I gotta use that too. No, I'm just saying, like we should we should do one more back there in the the was it the jeez corner? Smurf Jeez. The Smurf Jeez corner.
SPEAKER_00It's still there too. Yeah, I know. I'm looking at it. Oh, good times.
SPEAKER_04All I can hear in my head now is fucking Jeremy Piven.
SPEAKER_03European G's. Uh so anyway, um, yeah, this will be our last episode for a little while. We're not leaving permanently, we're coming back. Um, is never a temporary thing. I'm not sure how long, could be a few weeks, could be a couple months. I don't know. Summer is just so hard. It is, it's really hard for us. Um, and uh it's very sudden, I know, but uh if you couldn't tell, we've also been slacking on our episodes because we get so damn busy that our schedules can't align in any way.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, life, life, exactly.
SPEAKER_03Kids uh work, I'm on 10 hours, you know, and and you know, kids got baseball practice, you know. We all have shit going on. So uh just for the time being, and I really need to get this basement done. I've been saying it for months, and I need to get down here and get her done. And so when we come back, we might be in our basement. Either their basement or my base in my brand new basement. I don't know yet. We haven't gotten that far yet.
SPEAKER_05Which reminds me, if you need help, let me know. If I can come over and help out, just give me a holler.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I'm I still gotta clear everything out of here. So it's gonna be a it's gonna be a lot. I'll be useless, so don't don't call me.
SPEAKER_04I can help carry stuff, but that's but you know, uh none of the episodes are going away.
SPEAKER_03They're still gonna be on Buzz Sprout and on YouTube and all that stuff. So hell, go back and re-listen and to all of our old shit. There's plenty of 185 episodes.
SPEAKER_04This is 130 for season two. Yeah, so I'm pretty sure that's no that no, no, no, no, hold on.
SPEAKER_03Pretty sure there's important 180 some episodes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, but this no, I was looking at the creator profile. I've only been tracking it that long. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm pretty sure it's like 180.
SPEAKER_04183. So this will be 183.
SPEAKER_03There you go. So 183 getting close to our two and episodes. Yeah, getting close. Uh, but just you know, we're not even gonna pull one from the box because whenever we come back, we're just gonna come back fresh. New shit in the box, everything else. We might even change some things up. I don't know. New music, who knows? I might get a hair at my ass and decide, you know what? Let's do some different stuff.
SPEAKER_05I might look up some different bumps. Never know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So I I I just want to take a step back from it for a minute, do what needs to be done, and and kind of look at the podcast as a whole and be like, all right, what what can we change to make it better?
SPEAKER_04If you have any suggestions in the meantime, feel free. Nothing's going away. We'll still have all of our messaging.
SPEAKER_03Everything is still there. So if you guys want to get hold of us, um, for those of you that do listen or care, um, you know, we we'll still have open ears. Um, maybe when we come back, we'll be more serious about Patreon and all that stuff.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So, but I don't know. It's just eh. Getting paid for this seems kind of cheap. I don't know. I I just like doing it. That's how I feel. I just like doing it. Give me the money.
SPEAKER_04I'm sure it wouldn't be much.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04So anyway. Monetize. Here's yours. Give me the cash.
SPEAKER_03Here's your quarter for the week.
unknownWoohoo! Paid.
SPEAKER_08Give me the cash.
SPEAKER_03Give me the cash. I don't think you I don't I've I've definitely got way more money in this podcast than I've made. Matter of fact, I am all the way in the hole with this podcast. I was Gary saying nothing from this podcast. Hey, absolutely. Yeah, well, we all we've all put something into it, especially our time. So, you know. But hopefully we've entertained you guys along the way. You know, all of our penis jokes and all that stuff.
SPEAKER_04You know, gay chicken.
SPEAKER_03Gay chicken, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I will suck a dude off. I won't. I won't.
SPEAKER_03Unless there's money. He draws the line as I'm coming in. Draw the line, okay? I will touch it, it's not going in me. Warming. Riddy, why is that? Just kidding.
SPEAKER_05Let's move on. Loose skin and old balls.
SPEAKER_07Gross.
unknownDamn it, I keep forgetting.
SPEAKER_04Hey, that don't work. That doesn't work.
unknownI'd say move that.
SPEAKER_04I would say get rid of it all the time. But as soon as you move that, that stuff will stop working.
SPEAKER_03That'll Yeah, just leave it alone for now. Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Yeah, so if our audio look into like what can we do differently with the mics and stuff.
SPEAKER_05So if our audio cuts out on this, you're shit out of luck.
SPEAKER_03Well, it'll be like the first episode. Hey, you know that great job we did? You know that last episode we did? We gotta do it again. A couple months later.
unknownFuck!
SPEAKER_03Like you got your book in your hand.
SPEAKER_04God damn it!
SPEAKER_03Uh anyway, anybody wanna guess who we I'm gonna go with Patrick Swayze? No way.
SPEAKER_04I I loved him. Yeah, poor guy. He died so young, too.
SPEAKER_03And he was such a good dude.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know who he looks like? I was looking at old pictures of him like he looks like that uh one kid from Ready Player One. The main character.
SPEAKER_04I can kind of see that. It's the eyes and stuff. Yeah, the eyes. The eyes, yeah, I can see it. Well, probably because you're both blind in one eye.
SPEAKER_03She bitch over there scratched her eye out, so I can see why you can't see. I don't even have nails, dude. Who said you use a nail? I don't know. What do her toenails look like? Like, you bought this for me? Uh yeah, Patrick Swayze, man. I don't even know what my favorite movie is, would be. I got mine. Dude, there's Donnie Darko. No. Okay.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say Donnie Darko.
SPEAKER_05There's actually two that I'm kind of stuck between. It's like between The Outsiders and Point Break.
SPEAKER_04Oh, mine's Point Break. That movie is so bad. I watched it again. Have you watched it?
SPEAKER_00It's so bad. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Seriously, no, like I watched it, and in my mind, I'm like, this movie is gonna rock. And I watched it and I was like, this movie does not rock. It does not rock in the movie. It's it's the perfect Keanu Reeves vehicle, though. Like, at least back then, anyway. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. I like the movie. I like it too, but it's not because it's good. Yeah. It's kind of like Roadhouse.
SPEAKER_03I do.
SPEAKER_05I mean, there again, I do like Roadhouse too.
SPEAKER_03So it's you know, I will say I've never seen Roadhouse. I don't think I have either. I didn't, I thought I did. So did I. I was like, oh, apparently I've only seen bits and pieces of this movie.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, dude, because like I had the same thing. No recollection of this movie. I'm like, holy shit. Yeah, I watched it too, and I was like, I have not seen this.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Like I knew of Roadhouse and everything. Oh yeah. I thought I'd seen it, but I was I was watching wow. Either I've seen it and completely forgot about it, or I have never seen this movie. Did you watch the Jill and Hall version? Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. This one's better. What? This one's better.
SPEAKER_04It's debatable.
SPEAKER_05It's better than Jill and Hall. It's debatable.
SPEAKER_04What are you talking about? It's amazing.
SPEAKER_03Uh I'll say that they're both good. So anyway, let's let's get into this. Patrick Wayne Swayze was born on August 18th, 1952, in Houston, Texas, uh to Patsy Swayze, uh, a choreographer, and Jesse Wayne Swayze, a chemical plant engineer draftsman. That sounds like a very complicated job. Uh his mother owned a dance school in Houston where Patrick was also a student. Well, of course he was. His father passed away in 1982. He graduated from Waltrip High School in Houston and attended San Diego College in Pasadena, Texas. He married actress dancer Lisa Niami. Niamy? Sure. And on June 12, 1975, whom he had known when he was 15 and a student at his mother's dance school. His New York City dance training included the Harkin Harkness Ballet School and Joffrey Ballet School. I think that's how you pronounce it. He first danced professionally as Prince Charming in Disney on parade.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_03After a stint in as Danny Zuko in the original Broadway production of Greece, I didn't know that. That's cool. He made his film debut with a small role in Skate Town, USA 1979. He made his television debut in 1981 on MASH as a soldier diagnosed with leukemia. That's cool. I didn't know that either. After many supporting roles in films and lead role in the TV miniseries North and South Book One, North and South, he landed his breakthrough role as dance instructor, Johnny Castle, in the hit film Dirty Dancing. I don't like it either. Terrible. Terrible.
SPEAKER_06Uncle John Castle. I don't understand. Terrible. The obsession with the Uncle Name John.
SPEAKER_04Could you imagine when I was 15, if some dude walked up and said nobody puts Karen in a corner, what our dad would have done? They'd be dead. They wouldn't be dancing. He'd probably pee on him.
SPEAKER_00For which he received a gold blow.
SPEAKER_03He received a second nomination for his portrayal of Sam Wheat in the blockbuster Ghost. Ghost was the highest-grossing film of 1990, and at one point the fourth highest-grossing film of all time. I believe that. The production also went on tour in several cities of the United States, including Los Angeles. In January 2008, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He fought the illness for over uh well over a year and was able to continue working, but died on September 14th, 2009.
SPEAKER_04I loved him.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Patrick Swayze was awesome. He'd still probably be acting to this day, honestly.
SPEAKER_04Well, it's like it's like we've talked about though. Like he was one of them that, you know, like he had a ranch outside of LA.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04He only showed up to work, stayed married to the same woman. Like, you don't hear of that stuff anymore. No, no. Um, so what's your guys' favorite Patrick Swede movies? At the risk of sounding like a total pansy, it's Ghost.
SPEAKER_03Ghost is a good movie. I will say that. I agree. I even like the like the ending, like is really good.
SPEAKER_04It's a beautiful movie. I mean, and I don't I don't like those kind of movies. They're stupid. But I like that one. But he did a like Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like that would be He's got a mixture of horror, romance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of my favorite part in that movie is when he's sitting in the chair and his his best friend that had him killed is standing there and he's like trying to find that money or whatever.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, Carl. And he's like, they're gonna he's like, they're gonna kill you, Carl. They're gonna bury you next to Jimmy Hoffa.
SPEAKER_03Uh what's yours? Uh Tu Wong Fu. I'm going with the Outsiders. I absolutely love that movie. It's what's happening? It's just this.
SPEAKER_04Well, I don't think I've ever seen The Outsiders. You've never seen the Outsiders. I don't think I've never seen the Outsiders.
SPEAKER_05That's a that's a really movie movie.
SPEAKER_04So if I didn't like the Warriors, how's that gonna that's a lot better than the Warriors? Oh, fuck off.
SPEAKER_05Hey, I like the Warriors. Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that's a lot better than the Warriors. I've never seen the Warriors, and I don't care.
SPEAKER_03All I know is the outsiders is better. Everybody need to see the Warriors.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you do. Everybody needs to see the Warriors. At least once. He made me watch Water Raspberry because it's a secret.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Is it better than West Side's story? I've never seen West Side's story. That's a good movie.
SPEAKER_04I would have seen. I never had any okay.
SPEAKER_05What's your favorite? I'll say point break because I'm not gonna say the same movie you guys all did, so it's gonna be different.
SPEAKER_03You can like say we do it all. Point break would probably be my second favorite it is. So I'm not gonna lie though, Roadhouse was good.
SPEAKER_04I mean objectively.
SPEAKER_03I mean, no, I thought it was a good movie. I thought it was like legitimately good. I I was like, wow, this movie actually has more depth than I thought it would. So there was a lot going on in the movie. Yeah, fighting. Well, not just fighting, but like The plot was thin.
SPEAKER_06Time moves into town. Hey, why don't we talk about the movie?
SPEAKER_03We are talking about it. Yeah, but I mean like Sam Elliott comes in and everything else, and in the and it gets pretty Yeah, his character was pretty much useless.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he shows up to get killed oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03But Sam Elliott and to give a little more like it gives more weight to the character. Yeah. To who? Dalton? No, yeah.
SPEAKER_06You could have took him out and he still would have had the same. It would have still been the same. Guy rolls into town. He just went in there and spit wisdom.
SPEAKER_03Then he tried to fucking get him to leave. Actually, he really didn't spit much much wisdom other than hey, you better keep that bitch. Yeah. He's like, because if you don't, I'm a fucker. That's pretty much where he was where he was at with it.
SPEAKER_04And he could have let's talk about the movie.
SPEAKER_03Fucking hair. It was. They're like old man. I was like, old man. I was like, this is like 89. He's old now. Like right. Yeah, like now he's old. Now he's old.
SPEAKER_04So what was he betting?
SPEAKER_03He was not old. Yeah, it's been like 35 years. He's still old. What are you talking about? Like, in most ways, they still want to fuck him. He still fuck, yeah, yeah. He's still got that fucking mustache, man. That thing is epic as shit. He was 81. 81. In his 40s. Yeah. Whenever this movie was, he wasn't even old. He just had gray hair.
SPEAKER_04A little though. It was like Silver Fox. It wasn't like, you know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, right. You think the curtains mashed the drapes? I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Now he's bald down there. Or you think it has a mustache?
SPEAKER_05No, it's straight gray just as long as his hair is fucking just coming out the bottom of his pants.
SPEAKER_03He's like a juggle, though. He puts weaves in his nut hair.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Yeah. Braids are just, like I said, braids are just coming out the pants legs.
SPEAKER_07Ew.
SPEAKER_03What? Dan fucking cord. Would you stop? Don't look at it. I didn't, I just didn't.
SPEAKER_05Don't even breathe on it.
SPEAKER_01God damn. Stop. Just fucking stop. Just work. Just for the last episode, damn it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Just beat. Why you keep calling it the last episode? It's not.
SPEAKER_03It's it's it is the last episode for guys before the next episode, he's gonna be like, yeah, dude, I don't want to do it no more, so find somebody else to fill my spot. No, I won't do that. It's like I work too much. I'm a maintenance guy. You know how hard it is to get up and sit down.
SPEAKER_07I don't sit.
SPEAKER_03Uh all right. Anyway, uh, we watched um fucking Roadhouse from 1989. Uh, you gotta plot some of the. I do not. Good!
SPEAKER_06Man moves into town to save a bar, ends up saving the city. Road Swayze Elliott.
SPEAKER_04Not the Gyllen Holmes.
SPEAKER_05The ending was like like, oh my god, that one like killed me.
SPEAKER_04Actually, he really a legendary bouncer comes to restore order at a notorious bar but runs a tower. That's what I'm saying. Like a legendary.
SPEAKER_06Come on, who liked the cooler, not a bouncer.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh ruthless crime boss who controls the town. He cooled everything down with everybody got the fucking be nice until you don't have to be nice anymore. There's your plot synopsis. That's all I'm that's all I'm doing. Okay, I'm trying to get the uh all the thing. Well, in the meantime, would you watch what you recommend?
SPEAKER_03Uh hold on. So critics sit at 44%, and audience sits at 67%. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Alright, uh, would you watch? Would you recommend? Uh yes and yes.
SPEAKER_01It's a cold movie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I feel like I feel like I would recommend this to people. It's a good, especially if you're looking for a good Swayze movie.
SPEAKER_06Oh, my dad loves it. He watches every time it's on TV.
SPEAKER_03I would too. Uh I do dig this movie, so see? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Gig.
SPEAKER_03Well, you don't. Does she get mad at you for saying that or something?
SPEAKER_04I know I'm trying to figure out why I'm getting pointed out here. What I do.
SPEAKER_06I added a song because I dug it. Oh, yeah. I only add stuff if I like it. Digging. I dug it. What's the tone you used? I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_03Hold on. Jesus Christ. You guys argue like this all the time. I bet they're having sex. I'm like, you're doing it wrong. No, I'm not. Okay. Just like it. Just dig it, okay?
SPEAKER_04I don't, I think you talk about our sex life way too much.
SPEAKER_03You're in there just like doing your thing, Jeremiah. It's just like, are you sure? Like, I don't know. I dig it. That was good. Very passive conversation where you guys are just doing it.
SPEAKER_01I can tell you that.
SPEAKER_03Especially with Jeremiah. I could see him having that kind of like just very nonchalant. Like, so what are we having for dinner? Don't tell me we're out of beans again. I'm tired of beans. I'm holding a gassy one in right now.
SPEAKER_05That's only when Karen Ford's on it. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, uh, I I would recommend it too. And I would probably watch it again. I would I would also recommend the new one, the remake. And I would totally watch that shit again. Just because it's so I actually liked the remake. I did too. I liked it. I'm sorry. I liked it.
SPEAKER_06It's fun. Conor McGregor's over the top. That's what I like about it.
SPEAKER_04No, here's the thing.
SPEAKER_03Like, what the fuck is this dude's problem? Like, he's a whole lot.
SPEAKER_04The only reason I didn't like the Gyllenhaal one was because I thought this one was serious.
SPEAKER_03And uh no. No, it's not.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, I thought it was like a legit, like, you know what I mean? Like, because in my mind, what I'd seen of it, I was like, oh, this is like a legit, like action-y kind of.
SPEAKER_03There are so many things wrong with this fucking movie. So many things.
SPEAKER_04Mine would be so great. Uh no, I won't watch it again, but I'd recommend it.
SPEAKER_05It's like that typical 80s like bar kind of like type kind of movie, you know? So for me, uh yeah, it's it's yes and yes for me.
SPEAKER_03It's definitely it's definitely a a movie where uh hero rolls into town, hero saves town, hero leaves town.
SPEAKER_04But in all honesty, the one thing I will say this movie had going for it. Is like, okay, there's a thin fucking plot, right? But the characters are well written, yeah, well rounded, yeah, and they all have arcs, even the side characters, yeah. They do.
SPEAKER_03That's what I said. I was like two hours. But I'm like, I'm thinking, well, man, they're gonna be a lot of things. But the pacing wasn't about I was entertained the whole two hours. Yeah. Okay. So, like, because I'm watching all these characters develop. I'm like, in two hours, you guys have fit a lot in here.
SPEAKER_05Like, okay, so like the the endings. This is this I'm gonna go straight for it. The the dude dies, right? He dies, like one of the slow, like not the slow. I've seen the slowest. Oh, like 14. He's literally like boom.
SPEAKER_03Uh it was like it was like all of them had to get their lick in, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_05Like, and he's just standing there, just like, oh a shotgun.
SPEAKER_04Oh, it's like the slow down. Yeah, finally the last one flicks them through the table. Here I was gonna say, here's the here's the table, and he's like, hold on, hold on, let me back up. Hold on, hold on, hold on.
SPEAKER_05And the whole time I'm seeing it, all I was thinking about is the Buffy the Vampire slayer. Yeah, that's all I can think of. So I'm just like fucking dying laughing at the end.
SPEAKER_03But and like And then they were like, We didn't see anything, we didn't see anything. And the other guy was like, and the the sheriff's just like polar bear fell on me.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and like the sheriff's like, oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he just oh, nobody saw anything in a polar bear.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that was like, what the fuck? So nobody's just held accountable for killing this fucking rich guy?
SPEAKER_04Actually, they based that ending off of a real life story. There was this guy, he was like a big bully in this small town, and the crowd like gre gathered around him. Cops couldn't break through. By the time they broke through, dude was shot like 15 times, and everybody he was and you know the cops were like, Well, who did it? And everybody was like, I don't know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um there's some really stupid fucking ridiculous shit in this movie. Like the giant monster truck that the guy drives around for nothing. Yeah, he was driving, not only was he driving it around like his daily driver, but then he drives it through a fucking car showroom. No, dude, you're going to prison. I don't care if it's That's what I said.
SPEAKER_04I was like, I don't care how small the town is. Somebody getting pulled on.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, somebody's somebody's going to jail here. So you know, the two most. Well, even hold on, even if even if that dude didn't get in trouble, the FBI would be all over that rich dude's ass. Oh. Under surveillance.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like for all the shit he's doing. There's no way he would get away with that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I don't care how small the town is. There's there's the I mean, maybe we're thinking about it in 2025 time. Maybe back then, you know, it was a lot bigger world.
SPEAKER_06But 26. 26. Yeah, you said 2025 time.
SPEAKER_04Oh, yeah, whatever. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_06We're still living in the past. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04You know what I'm saying, though? Like it was a much smaller world. So I don't know, maybe, maybe it was a kind of a thing then, but you know, you look through the lens of it now and you're like, not a thing.
SPEAKER_03Kind of like a colour, so nobody's allowed. Like it was like a town ordinance. I never even watched that movie because you weren't allowed to dance. Dancing was outlawed like what? Yeah, daughter was killed or something, would it?
SPEAKER_04Drunk driving though. Like, I've never seen it. I mean, this is what people have told me, so maybe I should watch it. But I just know she died in drunk, a drunk driving accident. Yeah, and they don't ban cars, they ban dancing. She was dancing.
SPEAKER_05No, she was driving in a car. You know. So, you know, like, you know, the bad, the the bad martial arts dude. Like one of the worst actors I've seen in a long time.
SPEAKER_03Oh my god, terrible. I've seen that guy in something else.
SPEAKER_04There were two moments in this movie Pacifically. Specifically, no, specifically. Pacifically.
SPEAKER_06She worked with somebody, and that's how she said specifically.
SPEAKER_04Oh. No matter how many times you tried, anyway. Okay. So Atlantically. That's what she said pacifically the first time. Like the ocean.
SPEAKER_05Well, it's just like Penny when she says yellow. It's lello.
SPEAKER_04What about um Allie and Horsey?
SPEAKER_05That's pussy. Yeah. Literally.
SPEAKER_04You could ask Allie, like, Allie, what is that animal? And she goes, pussy.
SPEAKER_05She would literally get on my back and say, giddy up, pussy, giddy up. I'm not shitting you. I literally got a video of it.
SPEAKER_04It sounded like she was saying pussy.
SPEAKER_05She no, she did. That's how she said it. There was no like guessing. No, she literally said pussy. Giddy up, pussy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I got I got a video of it.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say if the shoe fizz.
SPEAKER_03He was actually 13 when she did that.
SPEAKER_04Um there were two moments in this movie though that both times I was like, oh, that's too much. One was with that guy, the guy that has the terrible acting, and he's like, he pulls out this fucking crocodile Dundee knife. Yeah. And he's like, what are you afraid of, Dalton? And I'm like, the knife, probably. I mean, the thing's as big as his leg. Yeah, I'm like, I would have machete. I don't care how good I am at fighting, you pull out a knife that big, I'm not gonna chill out, dude. Like, and then when he's in the hospital and they start talking, and he's got a degree in philosophy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or how about the fact that she walks in, she's like the hottest nurse or doctor that you've ever seen in your life. Well, they had to. And I'm like, really though? But then she's not that attractive. She was hotter than that. She was wearing glasses. Yeah, she was she was alright with the glasses.
SPEAKER_04But after that, I was like, No, no, no, no. I'm saying she was wearing glasses, so she wasn't attractive.
SPEAKER_05That's what they do in movies. These people always choose to call it the worst times. I would have been more for the short-haired girl than her.
SPEAKER_04No, see, like what happens is in movies they show up like this, and then they take off the glasses, they let their hair down, they do this, and then they're hot. That's how it works.
SPEAKER_05No, no, not in the scene. I didn't think she was attractive at all. Like I said, I'd have been for more for the short-haired girl, the one of the bartender or whatever. I'd be for her more. I'm saying I would rather have her than the the the doctor.
SPEAKER_04And what was with her dresses, man? Like when she'd show up, the very first one she wore looked like a tablecloth.
SPEAKER_07Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_04Did you see that? I was like, why don't you get a big thing?
SPEAKER_03Well then I was confused because I was like, at first, I was like, oh, he's gonna get with that blonde at the in the bar. No, and then the blonde turns out that she's just like the slut. And I'm like, okay, well, they didn't make that very clear until just now. Like, so and then, but like, then he's like hitting on the doctor, and I'm like, that's not a doctor, she's a stripper in disguise. So I was like, all right, this is getting weird.
SPEAKER_04But you know, whatever. It's a there were there was a few scenes that they could have cut entirely, like that whole phone scene with Sam Elliott. Yeah, what'd that do? It introduced his character, yeah. He just like called him and he was like, Hey, how's it going? I was like, Oh, he must be calling in some room. But see, it would have been just as awkward for him to just show up at the bar and him be like, Oh, that's my friend.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Instead of just being like, Oh, hey, how are you, man? Oh, well, I gotta get back. You're making all that money. It's like, well, I gotta go. Okay, bye.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. It was like if a five-year-old was writing a movie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Like, oh, we should introduce this guy. They can call each other.
SPEAKER_03They call each other. And what do they say? Hi and by. That's it.
SPEAKER_04Hi and by.
SPEAKER_03Uh but like it's just some of the things in this movie, like, they go around, for one, they blow up that dude's uh work uh fucking store. I'm like, no, nobody's getting away with that. Somebody's not no dude's not getting away with that.
SPEAKER_04Well, and I also like how Dalton shows up, and like at first nobody wants to talk to him, and then the next scene he's friends with everybody.
SPEAKER_03Everybody knows him, everybody loves him. Yeah, except for the rich guy. Then the rich guy's got this like vendetta against him. He's like, I gotta go.
SPEAKER_04But he won't he would have loved him if he'd have just you know joined his side. Yeah, and that and that old dude, like for the I know he was the bad guy, right? So the money was like the the catalyst, but he was too old to be that cool. Like, dude was having pool parties and fucking you know what I'm saying? Like he never got his window, did he?
SPEAKER_06After they smashed his window out. He went and ordered it, he never got it. They torched a building before he ever got it. Yeah, they never got a window replacement.
SPEAKER_03That's true.
SPEAKER_06I'd have been mad.
SPEAKER_03I would have that dude who was like, oh, this this car's a piece of crap. And I'm like, it is not a piece of crap. That car is awesome.
SPEAKER_04Can I ask a question too? Like, there's always this trope, right? So the the old guy had the the blonde chick or whatever, and he sends her up there to strip. So, for all the men in the room, that's everyone but me. How do you feel about your wife getting up there and stripping for everyone? Is that cool with you?
SPEAKER_03Or I mean you're No, I didn't understand that either, because he was always super jealous and all this and that, but then he's like, Yeah, go up there and show everybody your tits.
SPEAKER_04I don't understand that trope where they're like, Oh, let's sexualize my woman, but don't fucking look at her.
SPEAKER_03Don't get me wrong, she was the most attractive woman in the whole movie.
SPEAKER_04She was the she was like the Budweiser girl. Yeah. You know, I mean she had that she had the typical like blonde bombshell thing off where but I don't understand that trope. It's not the this isn't the only movie by any means. Probably the the most in your face about it, but I don't get it.
SPEAKER_03I don't get it either.
SPEAKER_04Okay. That's uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, so I just I this movie it was all over.
SPEAKER_04Oh, and the sound when he shoots that fucking pistol, and it sounded like a goddamn 12 gauge. Did you guys notice that?
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, dude, that thing was loud as fuck.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he shot a fucking pistol and it was like what? Yeah, we both were like, I love that.
SPEAKER_03I love that he's like, so okay, so explain this to me. Alright. He so he killed a guy in the past, right? Apparently ripped his throat out, whatever. Apparently that's a signature move. Uh he rips this dude's throat out. Only when he's not being nice. You don't want to talk about it, you don't want to think about it. He's still distraught about it, killing this one guy. Then he kills another guy and dumps his ass in the lake because he's so angry and so enraged. And he rips his throat out, which don't get me wrong, is awesome. But like I said, it's a signature move. But his girlfriend gets mad and like gets she leaves, and you're like, Oh my god, you're a monster. You killed that guy. But then he kills like a whole house full of people, and she loves him for it.
SPEAKER_04It's the two wrongs make a right thing. First time, unforgivable, but second time and onward, it's hot.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, like he killed, he like literally goes in and slaughters like so. He he had an issue with killing the first guy. Second guy, I think he might have still had a small issue with, but then he's like, Okay, let's keep going. Let's go kill this everybody in this house. Let's go kill all of his his his guys.
SPEAKER_05I mean, if you know you're going to prison, might as well fucking just get away.
SPEAKER_03And then she's like, Oh my god, I'm so hard for you right now.
SPEAKER_04He didn't kill all of them. He didn't kill all of them. He threw a polar bear at one of them.
SPEAKER_03That's true, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Apparently that guy was really likable because even the uh the the main boss guy was like we'll let him live. Well, I like you. I know you ain't lying to me. But then he like punches the other guy because he's like, You're full of shit. I know you screwed up, and yeah, I know you're not serious when you say you're sorry. But the fat guy, you're like, you're just too too damn adorable.
SPEAKER_05He's just a fluffy teddy bear, is what he is.
SPEAKER_03He's like squeezing his cheeks. Oh, I just so cute.
SPEAKER_05Can't be mad at you. You want to snack, buddy? I can literally see that with that character, too.
SPEAKER_04That's just sad part. Like him like blushing about it like awesome.
SPEAKER_03Oh, come on, buddy. Let's go get a high C. High C cooler, come on.
SPEAKER_04Oh my god. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03I just I didn't understand it. Okay, whatever. So the fat guy, because he's I guess he's fat, I don't know. I guess we're like he's like, I trust you. I believe that you're sorry, but you, you motherfucker, you're punching you in the face several times. I don't believe that you're sorry. You brought up the old guy getting shot like 30 times.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Okay, but like, what about the fact that he had a gun in his hand?
SPEAKER_05The whole time.
SPEAKER_04The whole time. And he never shot one.
SPEAKER_05He just kept it down there.
SPEAKER_03Ugh. Oh. I got this gun. It's not actually loaded, though. Oh my god. There's some flaws here, you know. But or the fact that, like, it seemed like Patrick Swayze's Dalton had some real trouble taking down the old guy.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03He's like hitting him with a stick. I'm like, dude, you beat the shit out of everybody up until now.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, now you just can't.
SPEAKER_03The one guy you can't beat up is the one. Yeah, it's the money. He's tired now. It's the money he gives him karate bills. I deflect you with dollar bills. It's like a stripper.
SPEAKER_06It's like um what all the money the South Park episode.
SPEAKER_05East dollar bill blinds him.
SPEAKER_06Where they cured uh Magic Johnson of AIDS, and he was just they were just shooting money into him. That's that's what this was. That's pretty much what it is, though. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um I didn't understand the whole back and forth with the like, you know, like, oh, Dalton's a a weapon, but then at the same time, it's like, yeah, he's a weapon, and everybody should be scared of him, but save us.
SPEAKER_07Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04You can't have it both ways. You can't be a good guy and a fucking renegade. Doesn't yeah, it doesn't hurt.
SPEAKER_03It's weird because like that's Batman. The one thing I will say though is that Patrick Swayze played the character great in this movie. I have no idea. At the beginning, you're like, okay, this dude is a hard ass, he doesn't fuck around, but then he slowly kind of you see him become more vulnerable and less a badass, you know what I mean? And I think that that has him it's because he's for one, his past is catching up to him, and he's kind of falling for not just the woman, but the town itself and the people in it, and he's he's becoming vulnerable because of that reason, you know, trying to protect these people who who he feels like need protecting.
SPEAKER_04You're a fucking pansy.
SPEAKER_03No, no, I wouldn't fight it. But like if I had to compare this movie to the remake, the remake does certain things better. I agree. And one of the things it does better is for one, the fight scenes are way better.
SPEAKER_06Um, my favorite part of that one is when you get to all those guys outside of that bar and beats the one.
SPEAKER_03Somebody's gotta drive. Yeah, somebody's gotta drive. Yeah, just shit like that.
SPEAKER_04Like, but see, like Jake Gyllenhaal, he seemed badass the whole way through. Yeah, like I always believed he was a badass. Yeah, regardless of what was going on in the movie, regardless of cheese, or regardless of the fact that you know Connor McGregor was always used to I don't care, dude.
SPEAKER_03Connor McGregor was the best.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but I love I loved the bit with him with the cars. Yeah, like he never fucking used the brakes.
SPEAKER_03No, he just yeah, that's what I he was over the fucking top, and I loved him. It was like, I didn't like Connor McGregor. Dude, watch the movie again. See if you don't laugh every time he's on he talks. He walks into the back of that house like he owns the motherfucker. Like his fucking walk. I'm like, why is he walking like that?
SPEAKER_04The first time he ran out of the city. He walks like that in the cage, too. Well, that was weird. He kept fucking Yeah.
SPEAKER_05He walked like I said, he walks like that in the cage too. If you ever watch him like walking up, he walks like this swinging his arms.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. He don't give a fuck. I'm not kidding. Conor McGregor does not care, dude. He's a mean motherfucker. Well, I mean, if you look like Conor McGregor, would you? Yeah, I mean, or you won as many fights as he. Yeah, like you just walk in. And I love the fact that he didn't even die at the end of the movie. It was great. I'm like, cool, that means he might be in the next one. I hope so. Oh my god. Everybody's like, oh, Connor McGregor was dumb in that movie. Connor McGregor was the best part of that movie.
SPEAKER_06Who the fuck is everybody evaluate by the seeing the first time? I'm like, dude. I loved it just because he was over the fucking top.
SPEAKER_03It was great.
SPEAKER_04I didn't like it the first time because I thought this one was like like I thought it was being um like disrespectful. Because I thought this one was so serious.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And because like in my mind I'd seen it, but only I guess I'd only because I did not remember the end. I didn't, you know what I mean? So like I'm watching it this time, and I'm like, nope, it's cool. I like that one.
SPEAKER_03It's fun, it's all good. I like them both. Just the second one is a little less, or the newer the remake is a little less serious. I like that one. I love it though. I thought it was fun.
SPEAKER_04I think I like that one. I I would watch it again.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I would 100% watch it.
SPEAKER_05The blind guy. Nobody knows who Dalton is, and he doesn't even know what's going on. He just knows there's a fight going on, and there was like, who's that guy? And he's like, His name is Dalton. I'm like, wait.
SPEAKER_04No, no, that's what I was talking about. Everybody fucking knows him. Well, that dude already knew him. That's what I'm saying. Everybody, everybody that's important or like whatever he's that he knows him all.
SPEAKER_05Like I said, the blind guy is used to like fucking chaos and sue and all that, you know. And now I don't know where he knows exactly.
SPEAKER_03That dude had to have been a real singer or something because he could not. No, he is. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06That's what I figure.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, he went blind at a young age and like the age of 18 months or something like that. Yeah, he was very young. It's had yeah, it was some kind of genetic thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say that I was like, that dude has to be a real singer or something because he can't act for shit. Like, he is not a good actor. No, no, he was he was an actual singer. Yeah, he died though. Oh, did he? Yeah. I liked him. I thought he was a good singer and stuff. I liked his music and stuff in the in the movie. And he he brought a little bit more heart to the movie, too, so I like that.
SPEAKER_04And I really hated like I know that it was supposed to show the um, you know, how the the bar went from you know a rowdy roadhouse to like an actual establishment. Yeah, but I hated the transition it went so fast. There was no well, I hated the transition between like, you know, cool roadhouse with the brick, the exposed brick, and you know, like all that that looked like a roadhouse. And then it goes into a night, yeah. It turns into a fucking save by the bell cafeteria. Yeah, I did. And I was like, No. This looks terrible.
SPEAKER_03I was like, that doesn't look fun at all.
SPEAKER_04Like that was the worst part of the 90s, was that aesthetic.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I will agree with that. The Taco Bell Talk, yeah, the way Taco Bell used to look like that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, nobody nobody liked it. Yeah, save by the Bell was terrible. Yeah, no, no, no, it was terrible. Calm down. It was terrible.
SPEAKER_06I rewatched it a few years ago, and I'd stopped at the last season like three episodes in, and I said, I can't take this anymore.
SPEAKER_04I never liked it when it was on TV. I oh I always thought it was it was too much. And I didn't like none of the characters, like all of the characters to me were like, I want to punch you.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_04Oh every single one of them.
SPEAKER_05It's just like if I went back to watch Power Rangers, I don't I couldn't watch that when it was on TV either.
SPEAKER_04You know that. I hated the Power Rangers. I didn't know I loved it when I was a kid.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, let's move on here. Uh he uh so much action.
SPEAKER_06It was about a year old, it was cancer, they had to actually remove his eyes.
SPEAKER_03Ocular across thesis, yeah.
SPEAKER_04You know, like when kids would play it, cancer it. It had the same effect. Not the same budget, but same effect. Are you guys good on everything then? Yeah, I'm great.
SPEAKER_05I like the movie. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Wait, did we do the movie thing? Did I press the button? I don't remember if I did or not.
SPEAKER_07Let's run out as bench.
SPEAKER_05Like I said, her game's off a little bit. Right.
SPEAKER_03I've been on 10 hours for the past three or four weeks. I'm tired. Scratch my eye. He has a scratch in his eye. That's not good either. I'm good. Um, all right, so we're going to review Roadhouse from 1989. Quit laughing. Uh Jeremiah, what'd you think of Roadhouse?
SPEAKER_06Uh oh. I like it. It's cheesy, it's fun. I mean, thin plot. I mean, there's not really much going on. Uh Jeff Healy, the blind guy. The blind guy. Like that was his band. That was pretty stellar. I like pretty much all of that. The action's good. I'd probably give it a seven.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_03Um, I think for me, the movie's not bad. It's definitely a lot better than I thought it was gonna be. Uh, had more to it than I thought would be in this movie. Like, there's so much character development in this movie. It actually was satisfying from beginning to end. There was really no scene that was useless in in any really particular way. The the phone call. The phone call, maybe. He that only took like what, two minutes. It could have been gone. Yeah, right. Um but I th I think that for the most part though, the movie's fun. It's a good movie. Uh it's a good 80s movie, you know. Uh it's got as good action, it's got the over-the-top, you know, ridiculousness. Um so I think I think um I'm I'm still I still like the new one more. I will say that. I do like the new one more. But this one has a charm and things like Patrick Swayze kills it. Um, I think the villain is such a douche, and that's good. Um But yeah, I think I think I'm gonna go with a six and a half. I still enjoy the movie. Um, it's just I don't have nostalgia for it or anything though.
SPEAKER_04So I think if I'd watched this um when I was a kid, maybe I probably would feel the same way. But I didn't. And I thought maybe it was because of the prerequisite or the you know, whatever that I had for it that I thought it was gonna be like serious. But I also really, really like Patrick Swayze. Um The Man Can Do No Wrong in my eyes. Um the acting was was good. I and like I meant what I said. All the characters had had good personality. They seem it seemed like a real town. It seemed like these people really interacted with each other, they had good chemistry, um they all had well um defined characteristics. They, you know, I I felt like each of these people were real in some way, so that was pretty good. I really liked that. Because of those reasons, I will give it a five. It's just right down the middle for me.
SPEAKER_05All right. Well, I'm sitting at a seven.
SPEAKER_04I think that's unfair though. For me, I mean, you know.
SPEAKER_05I'm going straight with this. I'm gonna say that as a seven. Now, like I said, the ending kind of killed it for me. If they would have replaced that ending with the 60s, it was a either the 60s or 70s movie, but it was like the the slowest death scene in cinema. That was that one that was where the dude like literally gets shot like three times, he's like trying to fall over, and it takes him like 15 minutes to fall over and die.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, that was an Indian movie.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, yeah, so my god. Now, if they would have replaced that with that scene, fucking seven or eight for me. Eight, it would have been an eight for me. But the slowest fucking death scene in the world.
SPEAKER_04But no, it would have been better if he got up again. Yeah, and then fell back down.
SPEAKER_05But yeah, I mean, uh I've always you know, I've always liked this movie. He's nothing like I mean, yeah, it's corny in a lot of ways, especially nowadays. But what are you scared of, Dalton?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it's a knife, and so knife you just pulled out.
SPEAKER_06It's a it's a Mal Dundee over there. All that jazz point. Yeah, it's 11 minutes, it's a musically inspired death scene. It took 11 minutes to do.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_066.4 is the aggregate.
SPEAKER_03All right, all right.
SPEAKER_05An 11-minute death scene.
SPEAKER_03You guys got all your recast and all that stuff done?
SPEAKER_05Really didn't do a recast, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03Uh, you want to go first, Jeremiah.
SPEAKER_04Supposed to do a recast too. Uh yeah, I'll go first.
SPEAKER_03What if Chuck Norris was in this movie? That'd be awesome. He walks into town. He walks into town, and that's it. He walks back out of town. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. They all fight each other. Yeah. He stands there. Everybody concedes.
SPEAKER_06Um, for Brad Wesley, Walton Goggins, uh Dalton, uh, Dan Stevens, Wade Garrett, Kurt Russell, and Doc Jane Levy. And then I think it was a synopsis. What did you go with the genre? Uh horror comedy.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_06Who did who did you cast as Dalton? Dan Stevens?
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_06Okay. You know who he is, right? Yeah. The guest. Yeah. That Nabigail. Is that movie The Vampire? Uh, yeah, it was a horror comedy. Um Roadhouse The Last Call is what the title is called. Um, Dalton isn't just a cooler, he's a drifter with a weird reputation. Every bar he fixes ends up with a suspiciously high body count. He rolls into Jasper to clean up the double deuce. Same setup as the original, except the town feels off, too quiet, too polite, like everyone's in on something. The bar starts normal, rowdy bikers, broken glass, shady money. But then the staff starts noticing things. The same drunk gets thrown out every night and walks back in the next day looking worse. A guy Dalton definitely killed in a fight, is back at the bar drinking like nothing happened. Nobody in town will talk about Brad Wesley after dark. Turns out Wesley isn't just a corrupt business.
SPEAKER_00He's a vampire.
SPEAKER_06He's basically running a feeding ground. The town is full of semi-undead regulars who uh regenerate unless you destroy them the right way. Uh Dalton's whole be nice until it's time to not be nice philosophy gets twisted when not nice now means figuring out how to actually kill something that was like.
SPEAKER_02I like this movie so far. So hold on, it's Demon Knight. Pretty much what I'm getting at. Demon Knight with Vampir.
SPEAKER_04I love Demon Knight.
SPEAKER_02I know. Love that fucking movie. Yeah, such a good movie. So sick and tired of this cowboy.
SPEAKER_03Hold up shit. Hold up, hold up, bullshit, motherfucker!
SPEAKER_04All you have to do is give me the goddamn key. I've watched that movie so many times.
SPEAKER_06The horror angle, the fight sketch, grotesque, bone snapping and resetting, mid-fight, people laughing, through missing teeth, bar brows, where bodies pile up and then slowly start moving again. The double deuce becomes less of a bar and more of a nightly battleground.
SPEAKER_03You know who needs to direct this? Sam Raimi. I can get behind that. Yeah. He's never directed a movie where there was a lot of fighting. So I think that I feel like with his directing style and his uh fight scenes would be fucking amazing. Like his zoom in, like, and all that stuff, like the way he does all those sort of like camera angles and those fast movements, and like I don't know, it'd be awesome to watch a fight scene.
SPEAKER_05As long as I use Tom Savini. Yeah. As long as I use Tom Savini for the makeup.
SPEAKER_03100%, dude. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04He should be used for every movie. In all honesty. Uh the comedy angle. Oh. I'm just saying he'd be very busy. Oh.
SPEAKER_06The comedy angle. Uh Dalton treats all of this like it's a normal job. Calmly explaining house rules to a guy whose jaw is hanging off. Training staff on how to mop up fluids like it's a standard procedure. And then deadpan one-liners while something horrific is happening behind you.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_06Um, Wade shows up halfway through and already knows what's going on, but refuses to explain it clearly. Just gives a cryptic cowboy wisdom like some men don't stay buried, Mijo. Why though? Why would he do that?
SPEAKER_04Why did he do a lot of things he did in the movie?
SPEAKER_06They casually blast one with a shotgun. The climax, Dalton.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Dalton realizes Wesley can't be beaten in a straight fight. He's tied to the town itself. So Dalton does the unthinkable. He turns the entire double deuce into a trap during the biggest night of the year. Fire improvised weapons in a full-on siege as the regulars reveal their true form. Dalton finally kills Wesley by breaking his own rules. No restraint, no mercy, ripping out whatever supernatural anchors keeping him alive. The ending is Dalton leaves town like always. The bar is fixed. But in the final shot, a roadside dive in the next town over, a familiar-looking drunk walks in, cracks his neck back into place, and smiles. Then it cuts the black. Okay. And then we need a sequel.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Another Sam Raimi sequel.
SPEAKER_03Roadhouse 2.
unknownRoute.
SPEAKER_03Sometimes dead is better.
SPEAKER_04Six. I was gonna say sometimes dead is better.
SPEAKER_06I don't know. But if Sam Raimi directed that one, he could direct the sequel and make it more uh The Dead don't die. Um I've been down for that.
SPEAKER_04I warned you. I was listening to stories of the dead. I was going for um Death to Smoothie.
SPEAKER_05Oh, okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_04So it's like a kid's show. Um it's called Roadhouse Learning is Fun. So recast um Dalton is Jason Siegel, Doc is um Zoe Deschanel, Wade is Nick Offerman, Brad Wesley is Jim Carrey.
unknownOh my god.
SPEAKER_04Um a bright, colorful PBS style kid show filmed inside a place called the Double Deuce Learning Center. There's puppets everywhere, songs about sharing, alphabet letters on the wall, and a full and full and full boat blown bar fights happening in the background. Um Soft ukulele music plays Dalton warm and smiling. Hi friends, today we are learning about kindness. A puppet gets smashed off screen. Dalton's still smiling. And what do we do when someone forgets to use kindness? Doc, cheerful. When we feel angry, we can use our words. Crash, glass shatters. Garrett, calmly to the camera, or a well-placed right hook. But let's try words first. Cut cut to colorful chaos. A man gets thrown through a table while the alphabet song plays. Wesley maniacally upbeat. Why share when you can take? Kids gasp. Dalton kneeling, talking to the camera like Mr. Rogers. Remember, friends, be nice. He slowly stands and cracks his neck until it's time not to be. Montage, finger painting, chair smashing, puppets crying, Garrett giving a thumbs up. The announcer, overly enthusiastic. This summer learning has never been more important. The final shot, dot Dalton high-fiving a puppet while someone flies through a window behind them. Uh today's lesson, consequences. That's the tagline. That's it. Today's lesson, consequences.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_05Okay. So mine was a Deadpool comedy.
SPEAKER_07Okay.
SPEAKER_05Now I have two. I actually apparently they gave me one for the the new round or roadhouse. Jack Rourke was the main guy in the second one, right?
SPEAKER_02I don't remember.
SPEAKER_05But, anyways, we won't do that one. We'll do this one. Alright, strap in. We're taking Patrick Swayze, tossing him into a bar bar fight simulator, and crank the chaos up to absolutely irresponsible. Meet Don, professional cooler, black belt philosopher, and the only guy who can rip a throat out and quote Zen. Like he's hosting a podcast. He rose in rolls into a small town where the local bar is less happy hour and more felony convention. The mission, clean up the joint, the method, politely asking people to stop, and then roundhouse kicking their souls out of their bodies when they don't.
SPEAKER_03Only Chuck Norris can do that.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Now enter the villain. A rich dude who owns the town. The cops probably are the air molecules. Probably the air molecules. Basically, if capitalism did karate, he does evil things for fun. Like monster trucking through small businesses and laughing like he knows he's in the third act already. Dalton's response. Breakup fights with monk level calm. Immediately escalate to WWE fit finishing moves. Casually flirt while covered in someone else's poor decisions. Oh, and yes, shirts are uh casually flirt while covered in someone else's poor decisions.
SPEAKER_00What does that mean?
SPEAKER_05I don't know. Take it as you will.
SPEAKER_00What the fuck?
SPEAKER_05He probably got pooed on. You take it.
SPEAKER_00I have no fucking idea.
SPEAKER_05Like I said, you probably got pooed on.
SPEAKER_04It doesn't matter how you take it. I don't think there's a good way to take it. No.
SPEAKER_05No, there's really not. I'm thinking of the salty sauce.
SPEAKER_04That's what I was that's where my head went too.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Jeez.
SPEAKER_04All right.
SPEAKER_05Oh, and yes, shirts are all are optional always.
SPEAKER_03Dude, Patrick Swayze spends more time without a shirt in this movie than with a shirt. I told Chris, I was like, you don't want to watch this movie? I was like, Patrick Swayze doesn't wear a shirt. And I'm I I was just kidding. And I was like, holy shit, he really doesn't wear a shirt like to this whole movie.
SPEAKER_04I really only noticed it a couple of times. Now the first yeah wasn't pants. Yeah, no pants.
SPEAKER_06I seen more man ass that day than that's true you did. I seen one pair of titties and I seen like two man asses. Where did you see all those man ass ass? Uh one and this one, I don't remember what the other one was. It was something we were watching.
SPEAKER_05All right.
SPEAKER_06So expect okay. Expect or maybe you were watching it. I just happened to walk in the room. That's possible. Maybe that's what it was.
SPEAKER_04It wasn't the spade-verse, so uh she's probably like, what are you doing here?
SPEAKER_03Go in the other room.
SPEAKER_06Why are you in this is my time, dude? There was a time that she was watching this movie, and every time I would come up from the basement, it would be like it was like perfect timing for a scene where he's in this, like he was in a speedo, really tight speedo, laying there asleep with a bulge, and it's like, what movie was this?
SPEAKER_04It's called The New Kids.
SPEAKER_06The what?
SPEAKER_04The Nuke.
unknownI didn't hear about it.
SPEAKER_06I didn't hear about it.
SPEAKER_04It was like one of the first movies that James Spader did. Yeah, he was like real young. So it was James Spader and a Speedo, and every time he fucking came upstairs, he'd be in that damn speedo.
SPEAKER_07You're like, what the fuck are you watching?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, every time he'd walk up. It's funny.
SPEAKER_03Like, damn, you got impeccable timing. It's the best part of the movie. Remember, we were talking about it at Ducks Unlimited.
SPEAKER_05No.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_00Sorry, Eric.
SPEAKER_05I really don't.
SPEAKER_00Go ahead, man. You were giving him L2.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. Expect bar fights that feel like a demolition derby with fists. Philosophical. Yeah. Philosophical one-liners right before someone gets yeeted.
SPEAKER_03And he took philosophy. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05And at least one moment where you do where you go.
SPEAKER_03Degree, yeah.
SPEAKER_05Yeah. One moment where you go, did did he just kill that guy? Answer probably.
SPEAKER_04He's just sleeping.
SPEAKER_05By the end, Dalton restores order, wins the girl improves the inner piece, is the is the best achieved through extreme, highly illegal violence. Tagline, be nice until it's not or until it's time not to be nice. Now this just sounds just like almost like straight like the movie, but the first one had me fucking dying, but it was for Roundhouse, the sequel. Oh, I mean, if you want to hear that, I'll tell that one too.
SPEAKER_00Sure.
SPEAKER_05Okay. Uh Roundhouse Deadpool's uh style synopsis. In a world where justice is slow, paperwork is eternal, and villains somehow always monologue.
SPEAKER_03Roundhouse. It's supposed to be Roadhouse.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, well, anyways, this this makes it better.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_05Paperwork is eternal, and villains somehow always monologue way too long. One washed up ex-fighter with a devastating roundhouse kick decides to fix everything violently and with questionable life choices. Meet Jack Roundhouse York. What's part time bouncer, full-time bouncer?
SPEAKER_04Your middle name is a a move. Yeah. That means you're a badass.
SPEAKER_05Part time bouncer, full-time bad decision. Mine's uppercut.
SPEAKER_03Mine's uh squirt so soon. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05So Rourke, part-time bouncer, full-time bad decision factory. After getting dragged back into a conspiracy involving crooked politicians, underground fight rings, and a suspiciously large number of guys who skip leg day, Jack does what any reasonable person would do. He kicks his way through all of them.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_05Q4th wall breaks, wildly inappropriate commentary about action movie cliches and a body count that definitely voids several international treaties. Along the way, Jack teams up with a hacker who insists they're not in her just emotionally complex, a bartender who gives better life advice than therapy, and a villain who really thinks he's the main character.
SPEAKER_00Don't they all know?
SPEAKER_05Expect slow-motion kicks that last way too long, explosions that make zero logistical sense, and at least one emotional moment immediately ruined by a joke. In the end, Jack learns something important. Just kidding, he absolutely doesn't, but he does land the most satisfying roundhouse kick in cinematic history.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Speaking of unnecessary explosions, uh, I thought that whenever the house blew up. So why'd the house blow up? Is he cooking meth in that motherfucker?
SPEAKER_05The only thing that it makes sense to me is if he went in there and cut the gas line and then lit a but the buttons was on fire first, and then it blows up.
SPEAKER_03If there was a gas line cut, it would have blown up first.
SPEAKER_05Maybe well he had a gas can, maybe he cut the line, then poured gas, and then lifted the game.
SPEAKER_03So but and well, and then the uh hardware store also blows up. I'm like, huh.
SPEAKER_04He makes shine back there.
SPEAKER_03Everybody around here is just cooking meth or something. I don't know. I mean, he might make more sense. Maybe there were propane tanks in the building or something like that.
SPEAKER_04I would say the auto place kind of makes sense.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna have flammable flammable stuff, yeah.
SPEAKER_04But uh the house not so much. I mean, maybe once it hit the unless he was cooking meth, I mean, or maybe you know, it hit the I don't know, the gas or you know, it I mean Yeah, maybe, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Possibly, I guess.
SPEAKER_04It was definitely a furnace fire. Furnace fire, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, nobody actually caught the place on fire. Right. Um, okay, so who gets the duck? Oh, uh Jeremiah.
SPEAKER_04There you go.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, man.
SPEAKER_05I already liked his. He's got the duck for the longest time.
SPEAKER_03Don't blame you. He does. He's gonna have a whole winning streak now for however long. Uh we'll come back, we won't be able to find the duck. Yeah, like fuck, where's the duck at? I haven't picked it up, put everything somewhere. I'm like, fuck. I can't find the duck. Fuck, I lost the duck, guys. Alright. Damn it, I keep forgetting. Sweet ass trivia with Karen.
SPEAKER_05I can't hit the buttons now.
SPEAKER_04Okay, Marshall Artig, that was like the really uh that was like the big bad guy, the one you didn't like.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Initially didn't get along with Patrick Swayze. While filming their big fight, both men really both men quickly realized they shared a dedication to realistic stunts. They developed so much mutual trust that they improvised a lot and allowed each other to throw real punches and kicks. When Jimmy swings a log at Dalton, Teague mistakenly thought it was a breakable prop log. By the end, Swayze was covered in bruises with two broken ribs and a busted knee. He chose to make ghosts next because it was less strenuous, turning down the roles of Gabriel Cash and Tingo Tango and Cash and Mike Harrigan in Predator 2. Uh really? Yeah. Yeah, he turned them down because he was in so much pain from this movie. That would have been awesome. Yeah, so now you don't like this movie anymore.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm saying like Predator 2, dude.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Yeah. He could have been in that shit. Yeah, he could have, but he turned it down. Uh Patrick Swayze considers Roadhouse to be a modern day, considered, uh, to be a modern day wet western, with Dalton being the gunfighter, gunfighter for hire, and Brad Wesley being the local bully. And yeah. Uh Patrick Swayze's fame caused problems during filming. Uh a group of middle-aged blonde women attempted to drive up to his trailer. Who was it? A group of middle-aged blonde women. Who's who's Patrick Swayze? Patrick Swayze. You know, all I can think of is like mom. Yeah. Like at that age.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04You know what I mean? Um, a raft of this was the one that kills me. A raft of Swayze fans sailed by while filming the big fight scene by the river. A female extra playing a waitress was too busy staring at Swayze to watch where she was going and tripped, spilling her drinks on another extra. According to Sam Elliott, all the actors did their own stunts.
SPEAKER_03Imagine having that kind of good look in aura that Jensen Ackles.
SPEAKER_04The man can sing.
SPEAKER_00I mean, so can Alan Richardson.
SPEAKER_04But it's Jensen Ackles, dude. Like when God made Jensen Ackles, he didn't save anything for the rest of you guys. Doesn't that piss you off? Not at all. I get to look at him too. This is fair. Uh according to Sam Elliott, all the actors did their own stunts. I fucking got the shit kicked out of me for the entire film. They were all trained by Benny Your Rekruz, I can't, a holder of nine black belts in nine different disciplines. What? Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03This guy sounds awesome.
SPEAKER_04Uh this guy, your cruid Your Quidez, believed so much in Patrick Swayze's abilities that he suggested Swayze become a competitive kickboxer. Uh the band playing at the start of the movie is Crusados. After the band disbanded, lead singer Tito Lariva formed the band Tito and Tarantula, which is the band that played at the Titty Twister and from Dust Coudon.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_04When Dalton first shows up at the Double Dudes, he stands at the end of the bar next to a post. On the post is Carved Buddy's Corner. Buddy was Patrick Swayze's nickname. Uh Kelly Lynch spent a month in a room. Emergency room preparing for her role. She also learned how to sew a proper stitch for the one scene that they ended up changing to stubble. Uh but they that she learned how to sew a proper stitch for one scene, but that was the scene that they changed to staples. Time well spent.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I'm like, hold on. So she they taught her how to she she spent all that time in an emergency room or whatever, just so she could be like in the one scene.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, in the one scene where it really How many times did I wear a doctor? One? One? Okay, well, I'm gonna go spend a month in the ER. Yeah. Uh Marshall.
SPEAKER_05She learned how to do staples. I mean, I'm I'm glad she was dedicated to the role, but no, but it's not a good one. There was no need for it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It'd make more sense if like Patrick Swayze was like, all right, I'm gonna go become a kickboxer for like four months before we start production.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and she's like, Yeah, I got some time to kill. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I got no other movie rules because I'm not that attractive.
SPEAKER_04Marshall Teague told a story that he took his mother to the premiere of the movie when the fight against Dalton happens and he says the line, I used to fuck guys like you in prison. His mother, yeah, I forgot about all that. Yeah, it was funny. Um, his mother jumped up and proudly shouted, That's my boy. That's my boy. In the scene where Dalton lectures, the double-deu staff about the three simple rules, be nice, is shown to police officers. This started after it was reported that cops were falling asleep during the lectures. According to Kelly Lynch, whenever Bill Murray sees her ex or sees her sex scene with Patrick Swayze on television, he calls her husband, Mitch Glazer, to tease him about it. Patrick Swayze wanted to do the stunt where Dalton leaps and tackles Jimmy off the moving motorcycle, but they wouldn't let him for insurance purposes.
SPEAKER_03So, did did anybody else find that sex scene between the two of them? Ridiculous. Yeah, it was awkward and ridiculous.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, there was no chemistry. It looked like he was just pushing her into that fireplace. Yeah, and like that looked painful.
SPEAKER_03I was like, are they having sex? His pants are all the way up. I was like, and then he's got like a whole her whole skinny ass in his. I was like, he's got a finger in her butt. I was like, holy shit, dude. This dude is like, and then he's like, got her up against that stone wall.
SPEAKER_04That's what I'm saying. That look got hurt, dude.
SPEAKER_03That's what I said. What are you doing? Yeah, it was so awkward.
SPEAKER_04That's why I said it looked like it looked more like he was slamming her into it. Like, are you about to wrestle? Yeah, he done pissed me off, bitch.
SPEAKER_03Mommy, what are they doing?
SPEAKER_04Wrestling? Are they wrestling? For real.
SPEAKER_03Like, yeah, they are. He's got a finger in her, but her back itches.
SPEAKER_05He's just trying to scratch it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, scratch it off that stone.
SPEAKER_06Sounds like a cork popping. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Then he's like, hmm, tasty.
SPEAKER_05A little corn on there. Oh leftovers.
SPEAKER_04What is wrong with you people?
SPEAKER_05Oh, that's nothing.
SPEAKER_04No! No!
SPEAKER_05No! It's literally like the third day of me being a maintenance.
SPEAKER_04Uh when Wade was stabbed to death with a note saying it was Tails, referring to Wesley flipping a coin. Later it's shown the knife belongs to Ketchum. Then Dalton stabs Ketchum saying Tails again. If you look at the scene with the Mercedes, when you see Dalton stuck the same knife in the gas pedal as Ketchum goes to retrieve it, the handle of the knife is capped off with a quarter tails showing tail side showing up. That's it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Well, that's it, kids. Those are uh that's that's Roadhouse. Yeah. Maybe sometime we'll do the remake. That one's just as fun, honestly.
SPEAKER_04Oh yeah, I I I'll like that one. I like that one better.
SPEAKER_03Uh anyway, so we're not gonna pull from the box um because uh we don't know when we're coming back, and we might decide to surprise you with just But if we did, what would it be? Something something that we chose. Yeah, maybe we do a double feature of some kind or something.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, say that's what we did for the first episode.
SPEAKER_03We just chose Yeah, we did the uh House on Haunted Hill remake and the original. So in the same episode.
SPEAKER_06It's more like my curiosity. Like pull something.
SPEAKER_03Oh, if we watch Okay, we can pull something.
SPEAKER_06Go ahead, hit the battery. But we don't have the watch, I'm just kind of curious on what it would be. Oh, like if Oh, what's in the box?
SPEAKER_03What's in the fucking box? I cannot hit the button. What would it be if we were gonna do it because we're not gonna do it?
SPEAKER_04Eden Lake. Oh, damn, that's a good movie.
SPEAKER_06That is a good movie. Is that the one with a fucked up kid? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I don't think I liked it first.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you didn't like it. I liked it, you didn't like it. Oh, like it's very suspenseful. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Um, there is fall on the No.
SPEAKER_03That's a good movie. No, it's not. That's recent, isn't it? From like two years ago or something. Something like that. I think they're doing a sequel or something, aren't they? That's such a good movie.
SPEAKER_04Dude, I don't like I don't like um high places and all that don't bother me. Not at all. Like, you know, the descent and all that shit. Yeah. Scary as shit. But like I can be up on, you know, something tall and it don't bother me at all. Dude, that movie had me on the edge of my fucking seat the whole time, and I'm not scared of that shit at all. But it's so well done.
SPEAKER_03I would agree. Okay, so uh we'll be back. I don't know when yet, specifically. Um Pacifically, thank you Atlantically. Um But we will be back, and I just I just can't tell you when. But it'll be soon. It's gonna be like I said, it could be anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months. Um, but I hope you guys all wait for us. Don't find a new podcast. Wait for us. It's like we're going away overseas.
SPEAKER_05And just was going to every single one person, just going a slow.
SPEAKER_03I'm caressing your lips and your face saying, I will be back. You want them to stay seat on me.
SPEAKER_04And now they all ran away. Yeah, they're all gone. They're all gone. Um, like, oh listen to my voice.
SPEAKER_05He literally just sexual harassed my ear.
SPEAKER_07He just ear fucked me.
SPEAKER_05Why does it feel like there's white why is there's white? Why does it feel like saliva in my ear? Uh he wet willied me.
SPEAKER_03All right, well, we love you, and we hope to see you guys all soon. And son of a bitch, that's not working.
SPEAKER_05We're all fucked.
SPEAKER_03There it is. Don't forget about all our socials. You can still follow us and stuff and still talk to us. So um, you know, don't forget about us. We're here. We're here.
SPEAKER_05Maybe we'll put a poll up for the when we get ready to start coming back and see what maybe everybody wants us to do.
SPEAKER_03I was thinking, man, like a poll. Like, yeah, news new set is uh stripper pole.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And every once in a while, Jeremiah's gonna get up and do a new move. Come on, dude. First when we come back. The longest hair.
SPEAKER_06You can sling it around. You're putting your beauty around too. You're a fucking coming up with it. You should be the one fucking.
SPEAKER_03No, I'm not the one over here throwing throwing dollar bills.
SPEAKER_05We'll come back and literally Joseph will be on the pole. But his butt cheeks will be what's holding him up on the pole.
SPEAKER_04I'm doing the goodbye horses.
SPEAKER_05He's holding on to the pole like this, and then let's go, and he's still holding on by his butt cheeks.
SPEAKER_04No, I was gonna say the goodbye horses play with Nip.
SPEAKER_03Several.
SPEAKER_02All right, anyways.
SPEAKER_03Shit got weird, but it always does.
SPEAKER_04It always does, man.
SPEAKER_03I love it, though. And it's always you. Maybe we need to change the name of our podcast to the weird movie podcast.
unknownWeird things.
SPEAKER_04The judge just says weird thing, and everybody gets uncomfortable with it. We just do all weird movies.
SPEAKER_06All we're don't worry, even when we're not recording, that's usually how it goes. I got a lot of weird movies we could watch.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, you do. All right. Well, you guys all have yourselves a fine and wonderful beginning of your summer. We'll be back before the end of the summer, though.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So you guys have a lot of different things.